Picks, Parlays, and Props Week 8

We got our first push of the year! Such a tantalizing tease of what could've been. Sounds a little like Baker Mayfield's whole career up to this point.

Week 7 Vibe Check (2-2-1) - Let's look at the losses, but not too long, please. The Seahawks went full Fredo this week and BROKE MY HEART. You can read more on that here. Meanwhile, the Niners tried their hardest to hit that over by themselves, but got no help from Cam Newton and a busted-looking New England offense. Pocket that info for a moment.

As for our wins, the Packers took care of business against hapless Houston, even without Aaron Jones. Here's to hoping you all managed to vulture Jamal Williams off the waiver wire 15 minutes before game time, like I did.

Now, for my proudest moment of this column, D'Andre Swift scored a TD, the first TD, as a matter of fact. If you threw a meager 10 bucks down, you'd be sitting on a C-note and change. Oh, what a feeling!

Ride that thrill of victory into this Week 8 slate…

Colts -2.5 over Lions

The Colts offensive line slaps. It absolutely could step onto any field anywhere and dominate. I'm talking about Quenton Nelson vs. a monster truck at a demolition derby and I'm taking Nelson. Rivers and Jonathan Taylor have both thrived behind them. On the other hand, the Lions have never protected Stafford, who currently might have the most complete set of weapons at his disposal. However, it all hasn't meshed into a functioning high powered offense, which is a shame. Not to mention, I can't really figure out what Matt Patricia's doing since this defense cannot stop anybody.

Bills -4 over Patriots

At some point, the Patriots are going to snap out of this slide and Belichick will look like the genius mastermind that he so clearly is, but I wouldn't bet on it this week. The Bills have been second banana to New England for years now and they are ready to assert their dominance on the AFC East. The Bills D must be chomping at the bit to take on a disjointed Cam Newton-led offense.

Josh Allen must be salivating at the thought of dropping dimes all over the lost Pats D, who might be ready to move on from Stephon Gilmore (if you read the right tea leaves) and throw in the towel. Buffalo is ready to take care of business and officially end a reign of terror.

Chargers -3 over Broncos

Justin Herbert notched his first win as a pro against the Jaguars in his most statistically impressive start to date. At every turn, even when the outcome didn't go his way, Herbert has proved able to handle running an NFL offense. Meanwhile, the Broncos have looked further and further from having an NFL-ready QB in Drew Lock, as the season progresses. Their D, the saving grace of the team, has gotten banged up and seems less likely to hold down a surging rookie campaign.

Rams -3.5 over Dolphins

The Dolphins had won two out of their last three, and even managed to cover four out of the last five before heading into a bye week. What did they announce? The Tua Era starts now.

Brian Flores has done an incredible job making a team built to tank into a fundamentally sound spoiler, but I have to question the wisdom of throwing your rookie QB in front of the most fearsome man in football, Aaron Donald, for his first career start. The Rams got right on Monday against the Bears, and even with the cross country trip, I expect them to take care of business on offense and the D to terrorize the youngster.

Patrick Mahomes over 2.5 TDs

The Kansas City Chiefs will be playing the New York Jets this weekend, which is a little bit like the Los Angeles Dodgers playing a a particularly disorganized little league team. I found this bet at the pretty decent odds of +140, considering this feels like something Mahomes could have wrapped up by the end of the first quarter. I'd easily smash the over for Mahomes yards, too. It feels like free money.