Picks, Parlays, and Props for Week 16 of the NFL

We were robbed of a 3-1 week by another backdoor push by a NFC South team against the Chiefs, who had long since taken their foot off the gas.

Week 15 Vibe Check (2-1-1) - Neither the Saints nor the Bucs were ever in those games, but they did exactly enough in garbage time to send us to gambling purgatory.

Meanwhile, the Vikings effectively drove a knife through their season and all my parlays by letting the Bears run roughshod over them. Who knew the depths that they could fall to against the Saints? Can't imagine that it was a happy flight back home for the holidays.

As for our wins, let's praise the Dolphins for handling their business against division rivals/former tormentors. The Patriots have a way of hanging around in games that they have no business hanging around in and Miami might as well have nailed up a "No Loitering" sign. Out in the Arizona desert, we got a shootout worthy of Tombstone to secure the over. The emergence of Jalen Hurts was a Hail Mary that might save Doug Pederson's future in Philly and my fantasy team from finishing in the bottom half of the league.

Cleveland Browns -9.5 over New York Jets

J!-E!-T!-S! JETS! JETS! JETS! Only the Jets can win and still somehow lose (the opportunity to draft a clear generational talent at QB), but don't tell Sam Darnold or Frank Gore. They deserve better than to go winless under the most ass backwards coaching staff in the league. Shocking the world got the Jets some Rodney Dangerfield treatment around here, garnering a little too much respect, if you ask me.

The Browns took care of business against the New York Giants last week and their prolonged trip to the Big Apple should bring similar results this Sunday. The Jets are coming off their Super Bowl, so a letdown is inevitable and the Browns' offense has been clicking on all cylinders with their two-headed monster at running back. Look for those guys to run wild.

Sam Darnold eludes pressure in the Jets first victory of the season.Icon Sportswire

Washington Football Team -1 over Carolina Panthers

The Washington Football Team have made me a believer. Riverboat Ron took a basement dweller and transformed them into a division-leading contender, well before anyone could've anticipated. Sure, that division is the NFC Least, I mean, East, but if Alex Smith has been quarterbacking/game-managing this whole season, they could be a .500 team.

Earlier this season, I was out there dying on the Panthers' hill, but it's clear they are a year (and a more dynamic QB) away from truly competing. At this point, they're locked into a top ten draft pick, while the Football Team has a playoff berth to play for. That alone should be enough for Washington to take this one.

Indianapolis Colts +1 over Pittsburgh Steelers

The Pittsburgh Steelers appear to have hit a wall, then hit that wall again, then hit the same wall a third time. Ben Roethlisberger can't sling it like he used to and his wide receivers are either TikToking or dropping balls. Unfortunately, their defense can only do so much, and due to some costly injuries they aren't in the tip top shape that carried them to 11-0.

Meanwhile, the Colts have come into their own down the stretch, stonewalling teams with stout defense and playing more efficiently on offense since TY Hilton's reemergence. The Colts getting a point in this game essentially makes this a pick 'em, but you've got to love getting a little something to possibly preserve the possibility of a push.

This tweet tells the story of Big Ben's season and the fate of the Steelers hopes for a Super Bowl.

Jalen Hurts over 232.5 Passing Yards

In two starts, Jalen Hurts has thrown a combined 505 yards. Of course, it was 167 against the Saints and 338 against the Cardinals in a historic effort. That's some real variance, but I think it is safe to say the Cowboys' D is worse than Arizona and New Orleans. That doesn't mean Hurts will put up 400 yards, but if we saw anything last week, it's that Doug Pederson is not afraid to let his rookie QB fire away, taking deep shots all over the field. Even Nick Mullens and CJ Beathard combined for 300 yards through the air against Dallas and I think it's a safe bet Hurts will eclipse that number.